Have you ever gotten caught up in a project or a job or a new chapter of life that felt like an unexpected wave hit you just when you thought all was calm? That’s exactly what happened to me when I got the idea to write the book The Confidence Cornerstone: A Woman’s Guide to Fearless Leadership.
I was on a journey to grow in my own leadership. A group of women and I were leading the charge to connect Christian women who found themselves navigating careers, family and faith with each other and with resources. I had hired Laurie to coach me so I could spot my blind spots and create a plan become a more confident leader. That’s when she introduced me to the book The Confidence Code by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman.
I buy a lot of books. I love them. (In fact, I need another bookcase or two for all of the books I have.) But I must admit there are many I have not made time to read – yet. However, I devoured The Confidence Code. For one, I was committed to following the steps my coach was giving me since I was serious about my own growth. What I didn’t expect to find were answers to questions my coworkers and I wrestled with years earlier when I worked for the National Association of Mothers’ Centers. The book shed so much light on the retorts we heard from those in the media who were convinced, or at least tried to convince us, that there were plenty of opportunities for women. Women just didn’t want them because they had other priorities, they claimed.
The fact is, one of the most significant factors that inhibit women from stepping up and going for those leadership positions they actually want to pursue is a lack of confidence. And the authors of The Confidence Code describe how we can change our thinking thanks to neuroplasticity – our ability to forge new neural pathways through deliberate and intentional actions. What we need to do is step out of our comfort zone and take more risks.
While I completely agree, I couldn’t help but wonder how you persevere through discomfort and risk-taking without faith. I’d argue that many women have tried it only to get knocked down resulting in resignation that it was probably a bad idea to begin with.
With faith, I’ve found it much easier to take even major risks. Mostly because I talked to God about them first and He gave me a peace and inner knowing that somehow it would all work out – a bit like when God told Abraham, “Go where I will show you …” (Genesis 12:1). I kept thinking the book needed to be supplemented with a faith component so women could truly be successful.
About this time, a new friend, Suzie Eller, announced she was considering offering a writing retreat for authors with a solid book idea. I was not thinking about writing a book, but the writing retreat grabbed my attention to the extent I felt compelled to indicate my interest. I had written Bible studies, so I was halfway there. Now I just needed a book idea.
Two months after I first heard about the retreat, I was talking to my friend Toyin during a road trip. I told her about The Confidence Code. I shared how strongly I felt that there needed to be a faith component. I told her about the writers retreat and my need to come up with an idea for a book. And it was like the Holy Spirit whispered in my hear, “Um, excuse me dear. Did you just hear yourself? I think you already have your book idea …”
It was at that moment, I thought, “Huh. I guess so. Well, alright then, but Lord, you’re going to have to give me the words! I will do the typing.”
It’s fascinating to see how God works in our lives and gently guides us to the work He prepared ahead of time for us to do (Ephesians 2:10). The more we tune into Him, the more sensitive we will be to His leading. I didn’t say we will know what it is leading to. Sometimes – and probably more often than not – God tells us to go where He will show us. Why? Because He knows that we – I’ll speak for myself – I am very likely to go off without Him and make a mess of things.
John 15:5 tells us that apart from God we can do nothing. As we abide in Him our lives bear much fruit. He doesn’t give us the whole map because He wants us to keep seeking Him, asking Him, following Him, leaning on Him. Every day. Throughout the day. Always. That’s just how much He loves us.
As you might imagine, writing a book is no small undertaking. It has been two years, many conversations with other women, and lots of focus time, reading and research to get to this point. And The Confidence Cornerstone: A Woman’s Guide to Fearless Leadership officially launches on November 10th.
I am praying that this message makes a difference for thousands of women everywhere to recognize who they are in Christ and answer God’s call to leadership. I pray that greater numbers of women open their hearts to support other women and that men recognize what they can do to support and collaborate with women so that people in all kinds of careers can thrive.
May it all be for the glory of God!
